I have to confess - I don't solve problems, I run from them. I leave them and hope they will solve themselves. That's not alright... but I am too weak to fight them. I fear I will not be able to find a solution, so I stop searching for it. I am so stupid...
One of the problems is that I fell for such boy, who is not right for me. He is just... too perfect :) and no more than just a friend. Plus he has a thing for my friend, but she has a boyfriend and won't leave him. I don't know how to work out all this mess... All this looks like stupid Mexican soap opera. It is much easier to live when I am not in love, especially unhappily. I haven't had these things for two years now and I felt free. But now... It is so difficult... I can't tell anyone, my friends probably would not understand, plus I don't want gossips starting to spread.
When I was younger, I was way too naive. When I liked some boy, I thought maybe he liked me too or would start to like me after he knew me better. I thought I was beautiful, clever - just ideal girl. I thought, but all that was not even similar to the reality. I was fat, fatter than ever, but I thought I looked beautiful. I didn't... As I've probably mentioned several times before, Lithuania is a country of thin and pretty girls. So when 95 percent of girls are thin, boys are not going to choose a fat one... Believe me, now I am much clever and no more naive. That sucks... a lot, but I can't change the truth. This boy is my "perfect boy" type and before I even thought that there was no such boy in whole world.
Sorry for all this boring information, I just don't have anyone to understand me :)
Well, I am at the same weight - 76 kg. But I got back to gym and holidays is over, so let's make a change :) This summer (July and August) I will have some events, when I want to look better. I really need to stop running from my problems and start solving.
Better news - everyone now is telling me that I look a lot slimmer and asking how I did it. That really helps to continue the battle :) One friend took a photo of me last week and told me that she still had my last year photo and she really could see the difference between those two pictures. So let's compare how I looked last year and now :)
March, 2006
Weight ~90 kg
April, 2007
Weight 76 kg
March, 2006
Sorry for the dirty mirror :D I really want to show this photo for you :) That's how I look now :) Ok, maybe you can't see the difference, but I definitely can :)
Thank you for your time and support ;) Love you all
