Blame the season

Warning: Searching for inspiration, stop reading right now. Otherwise you could get unmotivated and bored. (instead visit Ails, Brooke, Rae or Donna)

I am afraid to weigh in again. I have to admit - I have no willpower. Last week was horrible food and exercise wise. I was eating all the time, then feeling heavy and not going to gym. Every day last week I was lacking energy, sleepy at any time of the day. In the evening I couldn't get sleep, just lying in the bed with my eyes open and in the morning I couldn't get up, was late to uni, then after uni, I immediately went to bed, as was deprived of sleep, then got up late in the evening, ate smth bad and unhealthy and in big quantities, after that tried to read some textbooks, do my assignments, however didn't manage and got back to bed to get more sleep, but unsuccessfully as my stomach was full and didn't let me sleep. And same things were happening every day. God, I must hate myself a lot. Whole week I was moody and getting questions from my friends what is going on with me? I felt sad and lonely, miserable. Sure, I can blame PMS for it's tricks, I can blame the winter for the cold weather, but deeply inside I know who is guilty. I am the one. I have really gained some more kilos, I even can see them sitting on my hips, stomach, cheeks, chin. Hate that feeling. I don't want to get back to the very beggining.

Not very motivating post today. Sorry, I think I have lost my motivation, if I ever have had one. I need to find it again ASAP. Do you know why we like reading other blogs? We need motivation and if someone gets lucky finding it, s/he shares it and we might get motivated too. Just might... This weekend I have read many motivating posts, found new amazing girls with their amazing blogs and nothing has happened, I still have zero motivation. I know, I am not going to inspire anyone, even myself. Sorry again.

How do you cope with stress? As my usual way to do that is eating. These days have been really crazy and stressful for me. Next week I have two exams and must deliver my term paper, which I haven't finished yet (just 3 pages from 25). I am soooo bad, I know. So if any of you knows a good way to fight the stress, please let me know.

About those inspirational blogs I have mentioned. First of all Ails. Magnificent girl, who in one year has lost 26 kg. Read her one year anniversary post, if haven't. Doesn't she look beautiful? :) Other girl is Brooke. She has experienced some troubles, but now she is back on track. That's where the real inspiration is - read her today's post. Last, but not least - two girls, two online friends, two WW models. I think you know who they are: Rae and Donna. They are doing great, even WW mag thinks the same ;) Actually I have realised that most of bloggers now are doing just great. Maybe because of the summer (as I read just Aussies' blogs). Good luck to you all ever after.

How about the Christmas mood? Anyone listening to Christmas songs? I am... a bit :) However the weather is not very Christmasish (oh, gosh, I made a new word - I actually meant Christmassy). I have too much work to think about the holidays. I remember then I was a kid, waiting for Christmas was amazing itself. Then I didn't wanted Christmas, I wanted the waiting. All the preparation, Advent calendar, songs, home decorating etc. And now I just have couple free days for what... major eating? Sorry, i am again becoming moody. Wish you everything the best.

In the evening when I can't get to sleep, I am dreaming. I wish my life is more organised and in control. And not just food wise. I would like it to be planned, eveything in order, then I could be more confident, less stressed. Sometimes dreams come true...

Some people have a foolish way of not minding, or pretending not to mind, what they eat. For my part, I mind my belly very studiously, and very carefully; for I look upon it, that he who does not mind his belly will hardly mind anything else. (Samuel Johnson)

PS: I have "borrowed" the image above from Flickr member kulkuri. He has a lot of nice pics, especially ones with the small white poodle :)